Social Media and Relationship - Veronica Saragi (1788203042)

Social media has had a major influence on society in the 21st century, helping people to engage with each other in new and different ways. According to Brown (2011), we can fall in love online, make friendships, attend parties in other countries – all while sitting in our comfortable armchair. And while the Generation Y’s and X’s in our society are leading the adoption of the emerging social media apps, it has been worth a note that the older generations are now catching up, with the strongest recent growth in usage among the 55 and 65 age group (Burbary 2010). So what does this apparent ‘revolution’ mean for society? How is social media changing the way people relate to each other, and can we say that it has led to an improvement in relationships? This essay will argue that in the area of social and political awareness, social media has had a positive effect. In other areas of society however, there is cause for some concern.

The idea of a ‘social network’ is not new. A social network in fact refers to any structure made up of individuals (or organizations) tied to one another though some type of interdependency, such as friendship, common interest, financial exchange and so on (Oxford Dictionary of Sociology 2011). What is radically new however, is web-based social networking through various applications and websites, which has allowed these networked structures to develop in much more extensive and elaborated ways. Starting with specialised online communities in the early nineties such as Geocities etc, online social networking became a mass phenomenon in the 2000s with the development of  user profile functions for each individual and enhanced capacity to share interests and activities within their own networks. Nowadays, the main social media sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter enjoy huge success, with Facebook – arguably the most successful of these – boasting more than 1 Billion users worldwide.

The appeal of social media seems to have varied effects. Some surveys point to more rational social motives such as “being in touch with friends, organising social activities or flirting with someone” (Lenhart & Madden 2007, p. 23) . Other studies however, implied to deeper intellectual needs such as the need for a sense of belonging or the need to project one’s identity (Ridings & Gefen 2004). Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, is sure that the primary attraction comes from social media’s ability to empower people by giving them a ‘voice’ which may be heard by a large gathering in a blink of an eye. He is also sure that this capacity has meant that his technological conception has been overwhelmingly a force for good.

When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place. So, what we view our role as, is giving people that power (cited in Ali 2011)

In order to understand the effects that the new media have had on social relationships, it is necessary to break the term ‘relationship’ into three elements: relationship with the broader community, relationships with ‘friends’ and relationship with self. In terms of the relationship with the broader (sometimes global) community, there is much documentation to suggest that the social media user is more aware of social issues (Shirky 2011). As a result of this huge access to information, many social media users have a strong relationship with the broader community, with a more instant potential to become involved in collective action (Shirky 2011). This activist aspect of the web has been particularly visible in a number of popular struggles against dictatorial governments in recent times. In Iran, for example, social media played a vital role in the revolt of the residents against the country’s presidential elections held in 2009 and widely accepted to be rigged. In response to the government’s monopoly over conventional media (newspapers, television and radio), many Iranians turned to social-media tools both to spread alternative sources of news and to organise a dramatic series of street demonstrations against the government (Carafano 2009).

Clay Shirky, a major analyst on social media is most optimistic about the potential of the new networking technologies to bring about vital social change. Shirky suggests that the distinctive feature of the new technologies is that they have advanced beyond the 20th century paradigm of passive media consumption to one of active participation. This shift from consumption to action, Shirky argues, has the ability to free up human creativity and to be a stimulant for major collective change: “Our social tools are not an improvement to modern society” he says; “they are a challenge to it” (Shirky 2008, p.25). While social media has become rightly famous in the world of politics and social struggle, its more common and widespread use is in the more local domain of personal relationships. In this area we can also see many positive developments. On a grass-root level, social media sites/apps have proven to be a very productive way of establishing and maintaining relationships with friends and relatives. On this score, a recent survey of US college students found that the most attractive feature of Facebook was its ability to help users track down old school friends (Pempek et al. 2009 ). Another undisputed fascination is the role that social media can play in facilitating romantic relationships, although evidence suggests that the limits of this use may be overestimated (Pempek et al. 2009). Perhaps the most powerful use in this form of relationship building is the development of networks around shared interests and circumstances. Social media has become a dynamic way for the youth to build relationships around cultural interests and artifacts.

There are however a number of worrying aspects about this interpersonal dimension of social media. Some studies have shown that the quality of relationships with friends can worsen where social media has replaced face-to-face communication (Kujath 2011). There is the suggestion too that in spite of the greater interconnectedness it creates, social-networking sites like Facebook and Twitter can in fact leave some people feeling more abandoned and isolated (Cacioppo & Patrick 2009). As Cacioppo and Patrick (2009, p.46) explain: “For people who are already feeling lonely, Facebook status updates are just a reminder of how much better everyone else is at making friends and having fun”.

A final area to consider is the effect that social networking has on relationships with the ‘self’. One of the interesting features of social media sites such as Facebook, is that they give users an opportunity to shape and construct their social identity. Some critics have seen this as a positive development. Thus, it is suggested that social media gives people much more control over their self-appearance than in face-to-face communication, allowing them to reflect a positive image of themselves to the world (Kramer & Winter 2008). This ‘control’ makes the social media world particularly appealing to shy and introverted people, who may have difficulty in projecting their identity in regular off line relationships (Aubrey 2008). Some authors however, are critical of the way that social media seems to draw users into having such a strong focus on themselves and their personal identities (Rosen, 2007).

The concern is that social media sites in fact offer a ready-made vehicle for self publicity and admiration via self descriptions and photographs and are also supportive of shallow superficial relationships with so called ‘friends’ (Buffardi & Campbell, 2010). In an interesting study, Buffardi and Campbell (2010) found that people with ‘narcissistic’ idiosyncrasy tended to be the greatest users of social media. It is not clear from the study whether social media actually promotes ‘narcissism’ or whether it is just a tool embraced by those who are already this way inclined. Nevertheless, the focus on self via this media is increasingly a cause for some concern (Rosen, 2007). Overall social networking’s effect on social relations seems to be a mixed one. While one can point to many benefits it has brought, especially in the fields of political engagement and activism, there are some areas in our personal relationships where the influence has not been a positive one. Perhaps the area of most concern is the phenomenon of cyber-bullying which points to a worrying low point in social relationships. One surety though, is that social media is now embedded in the social fabric and its impact and usage is only likely to grow. The challenge for society will be to keep stride with this change and to try to ensure that this new kind of ‘voice’ bestowed on people is profusely an asserting and mutually-respectful one. As social networking becomes more and more a part of our lives, it will be interesting to see how this challenge is met.

As the popularity of social media keeps on spreading all over the world, there have been conflicting feelings about these networks and how they impact us. To conclude, we have to look at both the pros and cons of social media on our lives. The various positives from the social media are fast communication, ease of building friends, staying connected with the world, abundant knowledge availability, benefits for Businesses, Building brand, Educational Purposes etc. If we have the bright side of the social media there is a dark side also wherein we can see the various negative impacts of the social media like cyber-bullying, privacy issues, constant comparison of self, health issues, hackers, addiction, health issues, credibility of the content, etc.

Whether social media is a boon or a bane entirely depends on how we use it. Social media can give us fantastic returns if we use it productively. On the other hand, we can waste bulk of our time on social media if we are doing it just to pass the time. No matter how much information or entertainment we are enjoying through social media, however, life can be great if we spend less time on social media apps and more time in the real world. Whenever one will be in problem, the online friends can only sympathise but the physical, mental and emotional help would be provided by the friends from the Real Life.